


Down the Rabbit Hole

by DarkHorse33



Category: The Originals (TV), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alexandria Grace Swan is my child, Anger, Babies, Bella Bashing, Bella is pity while Alex is strength, Changing Rosalie's story, Confusion, Denali sisters, Denial, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Guilt, Human, I'll add more tags as the story goes on, Kate Denali - Freeform, Pain, Protective Rosalie, Rape, Selfish Bella, Time Travel, Twins, Vicky is still lurking, Volturi, Witches, i don't want to spoil anything, klaus mikaelson - Freeform, protective Alex, tribrid, worried Charlie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29738712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkHorse33/pseuds/DarkHorse33
Summary: Bella has a twin sister named Alexandria Grace Swan - later Clarke, who moves to Forks with her. She meets Rosalie Hale and they're drawn together. Best friends. Closer than most, until Rosalie leaves with the other Cullens. When Alex suddenly finds herself in 1933 - in none other than Rosalie Hale's backyard...how will her decisions and choices affect the future? I picture Alexandria as Alexandra Daddario in case you were wondering!
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/OC, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Rosalie Hale/OC
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first two chapters will be written in the same way, starting at chapter three the actual story will begin.

Alexandria Grace Swan could remember the day she met Rosalie Hale like it was yesterday. It was her first day of high school in Forks High with her twin sister Bella, and it had been Bella who had first called attention to them. She remembered looking at them all with - what she hoped - was hidden curiosity. After all the entire cafeteria had fallen silent the minute they walked in, as if Jesus or Beyonce had suddenly showed up but no. Just five attractive high school students. Or so she thought at the time.

She remembers Rosalie’s hard glare that always seemed to soften when it landed on her, even before they had started to talk. She had never known why that was and had never really bothered to ask, preferring to instead be grateful that while Rosalie held a clear disdain for her twin - the same couldn’t be said for Alex or _Lex_ as Rosalie would often call her.

She remembered the first day she _did_ actually talk to her, how Alice had been the one to introduce them after she had been shooed away from Bella by Edward. How Rosalie had tried to keep the sneer on her face but Alex had watched with interest how it seemed to automatically melt off the blondes face anytime they locked eyes - much to Alice’s amusement and Rosalie’s frustration.

_“Get in Lex, we’re going shopping._ ” Rosalie would say whenever she would randomly pulled up in front of the Swan house on any given day - _almost always_. Alex would usually be outside fiddling with her guitar but would waste no time placing it in the case and jumping in the car. One didn’t simply keep Rosalie Hale waiting if they valued their life.

Alex remembered how Bella spent all her time with Edward and Alice, and while Alex spent time with all members of the family, _minus Edward,_ who she found creepy, her time was mostly monopolized by Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper. Her scent hadn’t been overpowering or even tempting so her and Jasper were as close as she was to Rosalie. He enjoyed having someone around who didn’t make him feel weak, and she wasted no time in assuring him that he wasn’t. Could never be, that he was the strongest of them all.

It had been her that had pointed out the part of his gift they had all overlooked - he sensed their thirst as much as his own and that was where his struggle lied. The look in his eyes when she had proven how strong he really was…after he had exposed the others to the amount of thirst he had to deal with on a daily basis compared to theirs….the absolute gratitude and even admiration was too much for her and she had to look away only to be confronted by Rosalie’s gaze. The golden eyes that always seemed to be watching her, analyzing her, searching for something she wasn’t sure was ever found. So penetrating and invasive, like they could see right down to her core but she could never find the strength to look away. Like it was a test, a challenge and she refused to back down.

It was always Rosalie who looked away first, and Alex never knew whether to feel disappointed or justified when the intensity was gone. She remembered playing video games with Emmett, helping Rosalie with her cars…or more like handing her the tools she asked for because while Alex admired everything about what the blonde could do she had no idea about cars herself. She would listen as Rosalie would brag about her latest project, the pride and passion in her eyes drawing her in and even if she didn’t understand half of what was being said, she listened with rapt attention. She could listen to Rosalie discuss her passions for hours and never get bored.

She remembered listening to Jasper tell her about his history, something he had been worried would scare her but it only fascinated her how much he had been through. She had assured him she wasn’t afraid of him, that she understood his position. It was all that he knew, the wars. Mara. The lies, _god of war. Major._ He couldn’t be blamed. We all do the things we must to survive and here he was. If he hadn’t done what he did, he never would have met Alice or became her brother and she loved him. She made sure he could always feel her love for him, her faith in him, her confidence in his strength. It helped at school when he wanted to sink his teeth into one of the many teenage girls who got too close and Alex knew that should worry her but it never did. She couldn’t find any part of her that feared him.

She spent a lot of Solo time with Rosalie and Emmett and they always did their best not to make her feel like a third wheel which she appreciated even if she assured it wasn’t necessary. She would find who she was meant to be with one day and until then watching the loving couples around her ensured she didn’t settle for less when she finally found what she was looking for. She had felt the way Rosalie’s eyes would bore into her when she would answer questions about what she looked for in a partner. When Emmett joked about setting her up with one of his succubus cousins, she hadn’t been looking so maybe that’s why she didn’t seen the anger that flashed in those golden eyes or the way she had clenched her jaw. If she had she wouldn’t have understood the reaction anyway, was it anger that he was exposing her to more vampires than Rosalie deemed necessary?

It was always hard to listen to Rosalie openly bash Edward for bringing Bella around when Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper constantly brought her around. She was sure the others saw the irony of the situation, not to mention the slight hypocrisy but maybe the situations were different. Alex was closer to more Cullens than Bella - knew stories first hand and not just from Edward, unlike Bella.

Just as Bella had known the Cullens were different in the beginning, so had Alex. It was obvious, and of that she was aware. She had her suspicions, her theories but unlike Bella she didn’t pry or demand. She was content to allow them their secrecy. In time they would trust her or if they never did then it was for a damn good reason of that she was sure, but that didn’t satisfy Bella who then used Jacob to find out secrets that weren’t hers to expose…and of course she ran right to Alex as soon as she found out and spilled everything she had already known but been content to ignore for them.

Alex still played ignorant, willfully ignoring things for the sake of her friends until Bella popped that bubble by confronting them, in the living room with Alex present and Edward - unable to deny her - had admitted it. Rosalie had nearly tore his head off when she realized the danger that he put Alex in with his selfishness and it had only been Emmett and Jasper holding her back that had stopped her.

She didn’t talk to Alex for three days when she found out that Alex wasn’t worried about the danger they presented, especially after they had explained she didn’t smell like a normal human while Bella was literally Edward’s blood singer. She found it strange how one could find a mate in such a way - a mate should be incapable of hurting their other half…how was it possible to want to kill her and protect her simultaneously? But what did she know, she was only human.

She heard Carlisle’s story one night after finding out about the Volturi and she was even more fascinated, to learn they didn’t have to breathe. Sleep. Eat. All the things Carlisle had endured and still _lived._ Of course those made sense, it was rational. Undead. Vampire. Those things of course were all part of the vampire myth but to see it in reality was beyond anything she could imagine. Rosalie had been angered by her fascination until she explained _why_ she was fascinated.

While Bella saw them as some kind of fairy tale with a happy ending, she was more realistic. She had no desire to be a vampire and maybe that was because she had no vampire mate but as far as she knew the person she would spend her life with was human, if she was between life or death. Then she would choose vampirism but with an everyday choice humanity had too much to offer her. She knew that the emotion she almost hadn’t been able to name had been respect when she had met the blonde’s eye after speaking that aloud, but there were other emotions she couldn’t name, but again she knew better than to ask.

Rosalie was pride with walls, vanity with confidence, strong, independent and sometimes extremely bitchy. Care and sweetness hidden behind selfishness and indifference. She was blunt and unafraid to speak her mind, extremely protective of those she loved and she wasted no time in shying away from anything that made her uncomfortable or pushed her boundaries. Alex spent much of her friendship with Rosalie learning to let her take control, sit back and follow her lead, Alex often found herself unable to say no to the blonde.

She knew Rosalie used it to her advantage but she could never find it in herself to complain about her best friend, she knew she could trust her. Rosalie would never do anything to hurt her intentionally, or so she had thought.

She hadn’t went to the ballet studio with Bella, Rosalie had refused to let her out of her sight so she was still in Forks when the situation went down. She hadn’t complained, she didn’t want to leave her best friend anymore than Rosalie wanted her to leave. They spent a week together, alone. Talking, learning, understanding, and she didn’t know if she could live without the blonde in her life anymore. How does one simply live without their best friend? Was it possible to have a best friend as a soul mate?

She had went to the birthday party despite knowing that Bella hadn’t wanted one and Bella had of course, complained the entire time. They were different - the swan twins, one was introverted while the other was extroverted. One was shy while the other was outgoing. Bella “put everyone’s happiness above her own” to the extent that they moved to forks but at the end of the day she was stubborn and opinionated and quite selfish, so while Alex could see the dejected look in Edward’s eyes whenever Bella refused a gift, Bella either didn’t see it or didn’t care.

The party was going perfectly, starting with a beautiful necklace that Rosalie had gotten her, that unlike Bella’s the blonde had picked out herself. It was a locket in the shape of a heart with a French inscription that she didn’t understand - _Plus que ma propre vie -_ and inside there was a picture of the two of them. A picture where Rosalie was genuinely laughing, wide bright smile and happiness in her golden eyes while she looked at Alex whose eyes were closed while she was laughing to the point of tears. She remembered that day very clearly and had no idea that Alice had managed to snag a picture. It was so rare that the blonde actually let people see the soft side that Alex got to see when they were alone or when it was just them and Emmett and she loved it. She valued it. She cherished it.

She had teared up looking at the picture and threw her arms around the surprised Blonde who grumbled - _unconvincingly_ ,- and tried - _failed,_ \- to hide the twitch of her lips as she hugged the brunette back with just as much enthusiasm. Inhaling her unique scent because while they had assured Alex, and truthfully so, that her scent didn’t call to the beast inside of them her scent was still lovely and intoxicating. Enjoyable.

Jasper had compared her to the way old books smell in a library and being a book nerd herself she had been floored by the compliment. She couldn’t explain to you why books smelled so good but they _did_ and it was addicting.

Rosalie had compared her scent to blue tiger lilies that she had discovered her secret love for on the honey moon when Emmett and herself had went to Asia - the blonde’s favorite flower. It was calming, relaxing and comforting. Alex was proud that she could make her two favorite people feel that way, especially when she knew that Bella’s scent while she was only Edward’s singer, caused all of her vampires an uncomfortable ache due to thirst.

Emmett had joked that she smelled like a grizzly bear and the slap he received from Rosalie was a bit more harmful than her usual soft jabs, at the deathly glare she sent him afterward he had hurriedly assured her that she in fact smelled like mist falling off a waterfall and while she didn’t understand what that meant exactly - since she’d never seen one - she was flattered none the less.

She was so busy hugging Rosalie and trying not to cry she didn’t hear Bella complain about a paper cut, nor did she see the way her fool of a twin decided to admire the drop of blood dripping down her finger in a room full of vampires instead of sticking the finger in her mouth to dilute the scent immediately.

Before she knew it her back was to the far wall and Rosalie was crouched in front of her, growling a low but deep, threatening, and quite honestly, terrifying growl of warning at anyone who dared to get too close - even Emmett, while Jasper was charging after Bella and then being thrown away by Edward.

She watched as they restrained him and dragged him out of the house because of course Edward had decided to throw Bella to protect her and somehow it didn’t occur to him that was a dangerous move for a human. She saw how the vampires suddenly registered there was more than a drop of blood and focused their attention on the clumsy swan twin that was holding her bleeding arm. Rosalie had not moved from her crouch and she fought the urge to reach forward and wrap her fingers in her shirt.

Alice and Esme were the next to leave, along with Emmett who came back after Jasper had a clear head - but not before taking a step towards Alex and Rosalie - the latter who let out a much louder growl than before, so loud the windows in the room actually _shook_ causing him to hold his hands up and back away while Rosalie’s onyx black eyes were glued to every move he made. Edward was the next to leave after looking at Bella with the usual amount of self blame and consternation. Carlisle was already working on Bella when Rosalie had turned to face her.

Her beautiful face expressionless while the black that consumed even the white in her eyes was still present. She was searching her as if looking for any kind of injury she could possibly have missed, her eyes flitting over every inch of Alex for what felt like hours but Alex knew was less than two minutes. She saw as Rosalie registered that she was okay, not hurt or harmed and the blondes shoulders clearly relaxed. She took a deep breathe and her eyes lightened, they weren’t the familiar honey gold that Alex was used too but instead a burnt yellow. Clearly she was still upset by the situation.

Slowly and hesitantly, Alex reached forward unsure if her touch would be welcome to the blonde who seemed to be struggling with herself. She knew she was safe with Rosalie and wanted to reassure her that she had protected her. Before her hand was fully extended she was in Rosalie’s arms. Rosalie who was squeezing her tight, borderline too tight, but she would never complain about anything when it came to her best friend. Her face was buried in Alex’s neck and she was inhaling her scent desperately, as if this was the last time she would ever smell it again before she let her go and left just as quick.

In retrospect she should have seen it coming, she wasn’t stupid or naive like her twin. When the Cullens suddenly stopped showing up, Bella had chalked it up to a family emergency but Alex knew better. Rosalie would have never left her in the dark about something like that - while Edward tried to protect Bella like a parent did a child, lying “for her protection,” Hiding things that could upset or bother her, constantly patronizing her and playing the “im a vampire card” for superiority reasons.

Rosalie told her everything whether she wanted to hear it or not, but she’d never complain about that either. It had taken time and patience to get to that point, Rosalie was a tough nut to crack but once you got passed her walls she was more than worth it. Her best friend was more than just her beauty and it angered her that not many could see that, if only because of their own shallowness.

She had a horrible feeling in her gut that intensified as time passed and Rosalie nor Emmett or Jasper had shown up. Edward had finally found Bella but she could see that even he looked strained - poorly hiding something from them both since he insisted on giving her a ride home from school as well.

It wasn’t until Edward insisted on talking to both of them away from the house that she knew. Even before he said it she knew. They were gone, they had left and he was the barer of bad news whether out of responsibility to Bella or he volunteered she wasn’t sure. She had sort of stopped listening the minute he had declared they were gone, the others left without a word.

**_**Quicker. Easier. A clean break.** _ ** _So why did it feel like her heart was being crushed?_

**_**They didn’t want them anymore. It wasn’t worth it having humans in their lives. He didn’t want Bella, she wasn’t good for him. Neither of them were good for the vampires they loved. Rosalie had gotten tired of playing nice with humans.** _ ** _Then why did she save her? Why did she give her the locket?_

**__ **

**_**They both asked us to stay out of trouble, for Charlie’s sake but we would never see them again. Bella had been aloud to keep her CD and Alex had kept her necklace. But they will never hear from them again.** _ ** _And then he was gone._

Bella had stupidly tried to chase after Edward and Alex had just stood there leaning against the tree. It hurt so much more than she thought it would that they had left without saying goodbye. That the people she loved and saw as family would disappear on her. Would **_**crush**_** her with lies in the process. _Were they lies?_ Her subconscious couldn’t help but ask and..she didn’t know anymore. Maybe that hurt more than anything else, the doubt, the uncertainty, the small voice that advocated for the blonde despite the evidence presented against her.

They found them both hours later, Alex had the good sense to begin to walk home when the rain had began and the trek back home had been cold, dark, and painful. They had to physically carry Bella home while she had a complete mental breakdown and Alex vowed to be stronger than that. Rosalie would be ashamed of her if she did anything besides live without her. And so she did.

It hurt, but she was good at pretending. Hiding her pain unlike Bella who made everyone painfully aware of her first break up. Refusing to eat or leave the house, only going to school to sit at the Cullens table like that would bring them back. Didn’t talk to any of their human friends or even Alex herself. Her obsession was terrible, awful. Alex understood pain, Alex knew how much it hurt. Bella scoffed and said because Rosalie wasn’t her mate she couldn’t understand how it felt until Alex had pointed out she had been abandoned too.

By them all, the people she loved. The people she called family, the people she knew _much_ better than Bella whose pain extended to Edward and Edward alone with some left over for the rest while Alex felt pain for them all.

Rosalie the most, Jasper a close second. Emmett a third and Carlisle and Esme too. Esme was the mom Alex had always wanted. She would often help Esme cook in the kitchen. Deliver cookies to the hospital with her. Go shopping or watch HGTV, listening to Esme with her home design was similar to Rosalie and her cars. It hurt to think of them, to think their names but she did. She couldn’t help it. So she distracted herself by writing songs.

As many as her mind could come up with, unfortunately most of them were sad songs and she hated that but it’s better to get the feelings out - even if this was the only way she could find to do so.

It was just after Bella had figured out Jacob was a wolf - something Alex had known but refused to put her nose in their business just like **_**them.**_** As time went on her pain turned to anger and she was fine with that. She didn’t take it out on or punish anyone with it, but she was quick to snap. Quick to lash out, her songs turned angry. She was snottier. It was like **_**she**_** had inhabited her body, Bella had told her. She wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

She was walking along the beach while Jacob and Paul were off fighting after Bella had slapped Paul, she didn’t feel like going to hang out with them at the moment. Not to listen as they bash the people she still loved, even if she didn’t want too. Even if she hated herself for how she felt.

“Stangers rushing past, just trying to get home.” She sang to herself as she walked along the beach, holding her shoes in one hand and the other shoved into the pocket of her jeans.

“You were the only safe haven that I’ve known,” She couldn’t help everytime she was bombarded with memories, maybe that was why the pain lingered. Memories hurt, memories were like a slap in the face. Anytime she heard or saw something that reminded her of the ones that left her. How could she still love people who had hurt her in such a way? Was she that broken? Was she that weak?

“Hits me at full speed, feels like I can’t breathe. And nobody knows, this pain in side me. My world is crumbling…” She fought against the burning tears in her eyes, Rosalie wouldn’t want her to cry. In fact there were two clears things that would happen if she did. Either Rosalie would feel in an empathetic mood and hug her or she would scoff at her human emotions. She isn’t sure which one she would prefer right now.

“I should never have let you go,” But she didn’t, did she? It wasn’t a choice, an option. It wasn’t even a goodbye where she could have pled her case and stayed in contact…no, she was abandoned. Ditched. Left.

“I think I’m lost without you,” She whispered to the wind, a silent prayer she didn’t want to speak aloud that maybe her blonde would hear and come back. Heal the whole that was in her chest, she didn’t want to be strong anymore. Silent tears ran down her cheeks and she took deep breathes to contain herself. Bella was the broken twin and she couldn’t afford to let anyone know otherwise.

“I’ve been strong for so long that I’ve never thought how much I loved you..”

Cool, Calm, and Collected, even if on the inside you’re dying.

She could sit and watch the waves crash against the shore all day. The comforting sound was like a balm to her broken pieces. Watching as the rolling swells of the ocean collided with the dormant sand that attempted to soak it in like a sponge, hold it within itself to prevent it’s inevitable departure, but it was both unwilling and unable to stay.

She wanted that peace, that serenity, that ability to leave her problems behind at the door. To roll with the ocean and so she stood abruptly, leaving her shoes behind. Unlike Bella who had chose to lose weight and wear clothes that were two sizes too large. Alex had taken to writing music and working out her frustrations. Her curves had matured, her body had toned, and her style had always been impeccable. She knew her outfit was not meant for Cliff diving.

She was wearing a bright red corset that exposed her lower stomach and hips, a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, and her heels she had left behind on the beach. She had a white jacket on over it and she debated taking it off, but in the end decided to leave it. She didn’t care about her outfit, she just needed to _breathe_ again.

She sat at the cliff edge first, just looking down at the water. The waves were calm, serene, the weather for once working for instead of against her. She swallowed hard, both out of trepidation and excitement. She had done this particular activity many times in her summers spent with her father but she had never done it alone. It looked like a much farther drop now that she was.

She looked up into the sun, the ache in her chest a little more pronounced when it shined in her eyes, reminding her of shining and shimmering blonde hair. A blindingly white smile that was flashed to tease her, Rosalie had always enjoyed showing off her fangs. She knew her heart had always skipped a beat and Rosalie knew it just as much as she had….she had never admitted she wasn’t aware if it was fear or anticipation that caused the skip. Anticipation for what? That she didn’t know…

_I suppose your presence doesn’t grate on my nerves._

_Can you hand me that wrench?_ **_***Silence..*** _ ** _Yes, you Alexandria._

_I don’t know how you can eat that._ **_**A burger? I guess it would be like If you ate a cow.** _ ** _How is that the same thing?_ **_**Technically then we’d be eating the same thing.** _ ** _You’re an idiot._ **_**Whatever.** _ **

**_**Can I drive?**_** _No._ ** _ **But**_** _.._ _No._ ** _ **Rose.**_** _Lex._ ** _ **Rosie.**_** Alex. **_**Rosalie.**_** _Alexandria._ ** _ **Fineee.**_** _You couldn’t possibly have thought I’d say yes?_ ** _ **No, but you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.**_** _That’s one of the smartest things I’ve ever heard you say._ ** _ **Uh, thanks?**_**

_You’re my best friend._

_You’re an idiot._ (Always spoken with fond exasperation.)

_If you told me even a year ago that my closest friend would be a human I would have laughed in your face._

**_**What’s one thing you wanted as a human?** _ ** _Children… I wanted Children more than anything. My best friend Vera had a son named Henry and I was beyond jealous for that reason alone. I had looks, beauty, grace, but she had Henry and I would have traded the world for that._ **_**Couldn’t you adopt?** _ ** _I’d have to be prepared to change the child when they became of age…this isn’t a life I would have chosen for myself. I would never make that choice for anyone else._ **_**What about me?** _ ** _Have a few children for me, at the very least I can be Aunt Rose._

_I - I love you Lex…they aren’t words I say often enough but I couldn’t live with myself if I never said them and something happened to you._ **_**Nothing is going to happen to me Rose.** _ ** _You’re right because I wont let it. I’ll protect you with my life, Lex._ **_**Do I have to say I love you too or was the mighty Rosalie Hale already aware?** _ ** _As If I had any doubts._ **_**Even if that’s the case.. I love you too, Rose.** _ **

**_**Where will you go?** _ ** _Maybe Alaska, or Isle Esme. We won’t have to continue the human charade for quite a few years yet..it’s the only thing about high school. The younger we start the longer we get to just…be._ **_**I’ll miss you guys..** _ ** _One day we’ll leave forks..but I never said we wouldn’t extend you an invitation, now did I?_

She squeezed her eyes shut against the onslaught of memories, “I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things…” That was a secret wish she’d expose to the water and the water alone. The memories hurt more than the absence did. The words that Rosalie had never meant. She stood and brushed off her jeans, backing up once, twice, three times. Looking where the sun, the horizon was beckoning to her, before sprinting and leaping off the cliff.

It was quite a drop, her stomach churned uncomfortably and the air was literally stolen from her lungs but the minute she hit the water she knew it was worth it. It was exhilarating. She opened her eyes under the water and just relaxed there, bubbles leaving her mouth with the built up oxygen she expelled. It was so tempting to stay in the serenity here, to just stay and feel no longer but she knew she couldn’t. She was the strong twin. The one who wasn’t allowed to break. Everyone was worried about Bella, focused on Bella. There was no left over room for her pain. She had to deal with it alone, she had to live another day.

She resurfaced, taking deep gasping breathes of air and pushed her hair out of her face. She didn’t open her eyes, she just enjoyed the feel of the water even if her clothes felt heavy on her skin.

“Would you like to tell me who you are and what you’re doing in my pool?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rape happens at the end of this chapter, I tried to keep it relatively detail free but even so read at your own risk. If you wish to read but not the act, skip after the part where Rosalie and Alex leave Vera's and stumble across drunk Royce and his friends.

Alex couldn’t tell you how she got back here, and she would be lying if she said she wanted to be. She was wandering down the long empty street, trying not to scream as every movement felt like knives piercing her skin. As every step felt like someone taking a sledgehammer to her bones. She was in pain and numb at the same time. She wasn’t sure how she was walking, some latent adrenaline rush that she was sure would give out long before she reached her destination.

 _Where was she?_ She wasn’t where she had passed out, she wasn’t where she had left Rosalie. She wasn’t in the alley that she had been taken too. She vaguely noticed her surroundings looked familiar, vaguely registered that her clothes were torn and bloody. That she herself was torn and bloody, that her energy was weaning, that her wounds were extensive.

But she felt pride mixed in somewhere with everything else she felt. With the fear, panic, pain and dread, with the worry. She had protected the woman she loved with every fiber of her being, hadn’t she? It hadn’t taken her long to figure out it was love she felt for Rosalie. Not platonic friendship love but romantic love. Somewhere along the way she had fallen madly and hopelessly in love with her best friend and she had fought to protect her.

She seen the hospital before she registered where her feet were carrying her, she was half convinced she was being carried by someone else - she didn’t feel her body moving, the pain was receding along with her consciousness. She just had to make it to the doors. Make it and then maybe she’d get answers. Find a way back to Her Rose. Her sun. Her air.

She didn’t notice her teeth were chattering, her body shivering violently and her ribs screaming in agony. That she was covered in blood, even some dripping down her legs as she walked. That each breathe she took felt like swallowing a bowl full of needles.

“Rose..” She whispers and she wasn’t even aware that she had formed the name on her tongue until it came out of her mouth as a desperate plea to the night. Please god let Rosalie be okay. 

She isn’t sure if it’s luck or happenstance that she is suddenly stumbling into the parking lot of Forks Hospital at what is clearly the dead of night. It isn’t until her palm slaps against the glass doors, sliding down leaving behind a smudged bloody hand print that it truly hits her. Not until shes using the last of her strength to push the door open, her knees hitting the foyer as her eyes roll into the back of her head.

She vaguely feels arms catch her before she finishes hitting the floor, hears the bustling of the hospital and panicked voices calling her barely conscious name. Every touch against her skin is pain and all she wants is to slip into the blackness cushioning her fall like a pillow. In that moment she understands. She’s here and Rose is gone and is she always destined to lose her? To feel the pain of that loss over and over again until she succumbs to the pain inside and out?

Darkness is better, blackness is better.

* * *

_“Who are you and what are you doing in my pool?”_

_Her eyes snap open and with a lot of confusion she searches her surroundings. Sure enough she is in someone’s back yard, a fenced in backyard at that. She’s swimming in the middle of an in-ground pool and how the hell did she get here? Someone clears their throat and blue snaps to meet bluish-violet._

 _"_ _Would you believe me if I said, I had no idea?” She asks honestly, studying the woman before her because she would recognize Rosalie anywhere but this isn’t who she is used too. The ice cold woman who only softens for those she loves. No this is very clearly human Rosalie - the tan skin and lack of golden eyes make that fact painfully obvious._

_Rosalie’s lips twitch once, “Considering it’s my back yard I’d have to call that excuse into question.”_

_She can’t help when her own lips twitch as well, “Despite that fact, it is the truth.” She swims to the edge and lifts herself out of the pool. Shocked to find a bikini instead of the clothes she would swear up and down she was wearing less than thirty seconds ago. Curiously she watches as Rosalie’s eyes take in every inch of her toned body, her eyes darkening slightly before she looks away._

_“Why should I believe that?” she asks petulantly, so maybe some of her Rosalie is in there after all._

_Alex walks forward, lifting Rosalie’s chin, moving slowly to give her plenty of time to back away, but she doesn’t. She’s willing and compliant under her movements, “I would never lie to you.”_

* * *

_Rosalie insists she stay with her, especially after finding out about her memory problems as Rosalie calls them. She has enough sense to claim her parents had died years before and her twin sister had went around the bend (not necessarily a lie) and Rosalie’s mother had been surprisingly nice. She had expected more stuck up and snobbish behavior although the thought caused a slight bit of shame to leak into her mask. She didn’t mean to stereotype but the way Edward and Rosalie herself would talk about her human self this is not at all what she expected. Or maybe it’s only for her._

_There was a suitcase next to the pool that belonged to her according to Rosalie and once she opened it she had to agree. It had many of her clothes in it, along with a bag full of cash from her own personal bank account. Rosalie had insisted on setting up one for her while Alice had set one up for Bella. They had ensured they each had their own small fortune or so Alex was told. Bella hadn’t been informed because Alice knew she would bitch and moan but Alex had the good sense to be thankful that she had people in her life who loved her enough to want to take care of her, even if she didn’t think she needed it._

_Rosalie had simply flashed her a dazzling smile and she had been putty in her hands, taking the card and putting it in her wallet and even using it. “Small fortune” according to Rosalie and Alice was roughing 600,000 dollars. The bag with cash in it had a bank receipt for 250,000 dollars cash taken out of her own finances with a separate note that said “thank me later” - who she was supposed to be thanking, well that she had no idea._

* * *

_Rosalie’s brothers were cute and adorable and helpful, carrying her suitcase to the room she would be sharing with her blonde because she was still hers even if human wasn’t she? Rosalie had hardly left her side since she found her in her pool and when they had headed to her room so she could change out of the still wet bikini and on the way up the stairs she had offered her hand, Rosalie had taken it with a shy smile. Shy and Rosalie are two words she never thought she’d use in the same sentence._

_After she changed into Clothes that had Rosalie questioning her origins, she explained she wasn’t from around here. That after the loss of her best friend she just needed a break from her old life and somehow found herself here. It wasn’t the truth but it wasn’t a lie and she was surprised when Rosalie hugged her almost as tight as the last hug she shared with Vampire Rosalie._

_She swallowed hard and fought tears and she wrapped her arms around her, burying her face in her neck and inhaling her scent that was somehow the same. She had missed it so desperately._

_“Can you have more than one best friend?” Rosalie had whispered in her ear while they were still clinging to each other, she smiled against her neck and nodded._

_“Well then I’ll be your new best friend, if you’ll have me.”_

_Alex laughed a watery laugh because when had she ever been able to say no to her blonde? When had she ever not been her best friend? “It would be my honor, miss hale.”_

* * *

_It had been two weeks since she showed up and she had been staying at Rosalie’s learning about her all over again and she loved every second of it. She learned things she had already known like her secret love of broken cars - not that she had any means to actually put work into her passion as a woman in the 1930s but Alex would fix that. She learned new things like Rosalie had never cooked a day in her life but that she wanted to learn but her mother looked down on her doing it herself. She learned Rosalie was coveted for her beauty, another thing she already knew and her parents were trying to use her to further their standing by ensuring her engagement to Royce King III._

_He was, as far as Alex could tell, the local bachelor in town and Rosalie always looked a mixture of excited and disdained when she spoke of him. She knew that excitement was for a child and it made her sad that she couldn’t give Rosalie what she wanted without her having to sacrifice her happiness._

* * *

_They managed to find her a house three down from Rosalie, something the blonde demanded she buy, not that she would have argued with her in the first place. She was confused on why whoever the “thank me later” person was gave her so much cash because things were insanely cheap in 1932. The house she purchased cost 3500 dollars and she felt cheap as hell paying for it, when the house it was would have probably went for at the very least 60 grand in 2006. What a difference seventy years makes._

_She at the very least ensured she paid 5500, the kind lady who was selling her the house would in good conscience take no more than that and already cried and told her how much she appreciated the money she needed for her children. It had people talking about her, even if she wasn’t aware of the rumors for a few weeks still. Rosalie was though, she knew all about what people were saying since while Alex hung around with Rosalie, Rosalie’s mother Lilian, her Father Abraham and her two little brothers Andy and Graham - Rosalie was still required to accompany her parents to charity events in town. Something Alex promised to go with as soon as she was settled in._

_People called her the mysterious stranger with her obvious foreign dress and absurd amounts of money which Alex couldn’t argue with. She was someone who tipped and she wondered who actually came up with the idea because people seemed surprised when she told them that’s what she was doing. You pay for the service and tip the person performing it for their time._

_She always stopped to pick up papers children were selling on the corner for .25, even if she didn’t read them she always rounded up to a dollar. Andy and Graham despite being well bred young men who needn’t want for anything had their own little shoe cleaning business that Abraham had practically burst with pride when they informed him. (She had purchased the kit for them as a surprise) She was their first customer and if she paid them much more than she should have no one commented on it, apart from the knowing smirks from Rosalie and Lilian that she simply chose to ignore._

_Aside from her generosity, she was known for her beauty. It was often compared to Rosalie’s and she had thought the blonde would feel slighted for that but surprising her, Rosalie instead had preened at the fact that they were considered the most beautiful women in town and she was Rosalie’s best friend. Aside from Vera of course who she had also met and could see the jealousy in Rosalie’s eyes whenever she saw little Henry. She would squeeze her wrist a little and give her a reassuring smile that would have Rosalie smile back before she looked away. It was always Rosalie that looked away first, even as a vampire._

* * *

_That night was the first time she kissed Rosalie Hale. She hadn’t meant to do it, but Rosalie looked so sad after they left Henry and she wanted her to understand Alex would make sure all of her dreams came true no matter what she had to do. She had walked her home as she often did, they hadn’t meant to stay as long as they had so Rosalie was in a dress that offered little protection from the cold._

_Alex took off her own Jacket and draped in around her shoulders, causing a light blush to coat the blondes cheeks. She loved that about human rose, seeing the effect she had on her. She wondered how it had taken her so long to realize how in love with Rosalie she really was, and maybe just maybe while vampire Rose was Emmett’s, maybe human Rose was hers. When they got to Rosalie’s house no one was home, so she went inside with her as she often did. She didn’t know how Rosalie became a vampire. She had always told her she would tell her one day but for obvious reasons that day never came._

_She knew Rosalie hated being a vampire, or maybe that wasn’t true, she hated what she had to give up to be a vampire. Old age, children, grandchildren. Alex would do everything she could to preserve this Rosalie, human Rosalie, even if that meant she had to give her up._

_She stopped Rosalie by grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers, Human Rosalie was different than Vampire Rosalie in that way. Vampire Rosalie was in charge, she called the shots and no one stopped her if she didn’t want to be stopped. Her human was always pliant for her, coming when she asked and leaving when she let her._

_“I’ll make sure you get everything you want in life, my Rose. No matter what,” She promised blue eyes locked with bluish-violet. She didn’t realize she was pulling her closer until their bodies were already pressed together, she didn’t realize one of her hands at wrapped around her waist and the other had dropped her hand to cup her cheek until she was tipping Rosalie’s head to look up at her. (Rosalie being five foot six while she was five foot eight.) She leaned forward slowly giving her plenty of time to pull away._

_She’d learned from vampire Rose to never push past boundaries, not that she ever would anyway. Rosalie didn’t pull away, if anything she leaned with her, “I promise,” She whispered before she surged forward, closing the rest of the distance. The kiss wasn’t rushed or hurried, it wasn’t desperation, or hunger._

_It was a gentle push and pull, a question and a promise. Rosalie gripped the back of her neck pulling her closer and she knew the question without her needing to speak it aloud, ‘stay with me’, while she pulled her more securely against her chest, ‘Always.’_

_It was their own way of non verbal communication that she was surprised she found so easy with human Rosalie, it had taken time to build it with the vampire but with the human it was instant. Almost like their souls recognized each other the minute they locked eyes and whispered ‘Finally.’_

* * *

_They didn’t talk about it after that, she knew Rosalie would discuss it when she was ready and in the mean time, she went at her pace. She couldn’t bring herself to be the one to do it. It was this little assurance she needed, justification that she craved, but she was patient. They had all the time in the world, except Royce was nosing around and bringing Rosalie roses and she fought the urge to throw them away each time she saw them. Rosalie hated roses._

_It gave her the idea to find tiger lilies anywhere she could purchase them, She found a supplier. A local flower shop that could order them for her, and she order six dozen of them in assorted colors. The order would have taken a month but as usual money made things much faster. They arrived by the end of the week and she had filled Rosalie’s bed room to the brim with them._

_She hadn’t been there when Rosalie had opened her door to find them and so she hadn’t seen how Rosalie had dropped her purse or quickly shut her bedroom door so the scene was only for her eyes, she didn’t see how she leaned against the door taking in each individual flower before a wide toothy grin spread across her face along with a fond and exasperated eye roll because she had no doubt who would break into her bed room just to leave dozens of flowers._

_She hadn’t seen how Rosalie had picked up one of the flowers and inhaled the scent that reminded her so much of Alex, or how upon noticing the note laying on her pillow under a box of the finest chocolates Alex could find - silent tears ran down her cheeks because unknown to Alex, human Rosalie also understood French._

_Plus que ma propre vie…more than my own life._

* * *

_They didn’t talk about the flowers, even if Alex knew how much they had meant to Rosalie but Rosalie was overly affectionate when ever they weren’t around anyone else. She knew the position Rosalie was in, she knew, she understood and she was patient. Anything was better than nothing._

_Rosalie’s parents were going out, Royce was out of town and Andy and Graham were staying with Vera and her husband for the night. Rosalie was staying over with her, she often spent much of her time at Alex’s house._

_“I have a surprise for you,” Alex told her the minute they walked into the house while she helped Rosalie out of her jacket before hanging it up on the rack. Rosalie had helped her decorate her house after she had bought it so it looked a lot like Rosalie’s._

_“Always one with the surprises,” Rosalie was amused and her eyes were twinkling, as much as she pretended she didn’t. Alex knew she loved surprises._

_“Do you trust me?” She hadn’t meant for it to come out so serious but she wouldn’t take it back._

_“With my life,” Rosalie replied just as seriously and Alex’s mouth felt extremely dry. She cleared her throat and stepped forward, undoing the tie around her neck. She had introduced Rosalie to Uni-sex which she proved by dressing in a suit and tie whenever they went to events. She stepped forward and turned Rosalie around so her back was pressed against Alex’s front._

_She could feel the way Rosalie’s breath shuddered but she didn’t push the situation, she simply wrapped the tie around her eyes and then grabbed her hands walking until they reached the door leading into her garage. She pushed it open and turned on the light before walking into the middle of the room, all with a firm grip on Rosalie’s hands._

_“Ready?” She asked and Rosalie nodded twice._

_She took the blindfold off and stood aside, loving the way Rosalie’s breath hitched in her throat. In front of them was a Cadillac 452-A V-16, the most expensive car available to date, but what she knew caught Rosalie’s attention was the fact that it had been in an accident and needed repairs. Parts were littered around it as well as the manual, it was Rosalie’s to play, experiment, fix, destroy, anything she wanted._

_“Y-You,”_

_“I figured you could get your hands dirty, I know you always wanted to try but hadn’t had the opportunity. It’s yours to -” She was silenced by Rosalie’s lips crashed against her own and this kiss was so much different than their first._

_This was desperation, need, longing, a suppressed desire that built up until it exploded. Rosalie attempted to take control of the kiss only to be dominated by Alex’s mouth, she nipped at Rosalie’s lower lip, at Rosalie’s surprised gasp her tongue entered a hot mouth, nothing like she imagined kissing the vampire would be but so addicting none the less._

_She ripped her lips away long enough to breathe, fucking oxygen. Their chests were heaving, Rosalie’s eyes were hooded and dark with desire, Alex took a few deep breathes to try to calm herself down before she spoke,_

_“Are you sure?” Rosalie didn’t answer verbally, instead she crashed their lips together again quickly dominating the kiss and Alex let her. She gave what Rosalie was willing to take._

_Again with the fucking oxygen but she didn’t want to separate her lips from the blonde’s body and so she kissed her cheeks, her jaw, down her neck. Rosalie’s hands had ripped her white button up out of her black pants and her hand was now splayed against her abs while Alex’s hand was gripping Rosalie’s thigh, her leg having come up to hook around the brunette’s hip and hold her where Rosalie wanted her._

_“Please, Lex.” Rosalie choked out and she had never thought she’d hear Rosalie beg but it made her core ache painfully and her knees weak. She shook her head to focus and lifted the blonde, wrapping her legs around her waist before carrying her to her bedroom, Rosalie’s lips attacking her own on the way. She was suddenly so glad she had spent all that time working out because she was sure she would have dropped her - especially when Rosalie started to bite and kiss her neck and she groaned gripping Rosalie tighter against her._

_She spent that night exploring the blonde’s body. Learning what spots caused her to moan, to squirm, to beg for more. She never knew how much she had wanted this when Rosalie would stay with her, to be able to caress her skin and feel it prickle with goosebumps. To pull her closer and feel her muscles clench, her legs shaking beneath her as every inch of her blonde goddess trembled in orgasm after orgasm._

_To be able to explore and taste the very essence that was Rosalie, her mouth watering husk from between her thighs. The sweetest ambrosia she had never knew she needed and she had hardly been able to have enough of it._

_To hear Rosalie Hale beg beneath her, moan and scream and beg some more and gladly giving in to every plea, every cry, every need because when had she ever been able to say no to her Rose. She didn’t require Rosalie to reciprocate, even when the blonde had attempted looking adorably unsure she simply explained she received all the pleasure she needed by giving it to Rosalie. Her sun and then held the blonde until she fell asleep in her arms._

_She had never truly understood soul mates, never truly understood how your heart could live outside your body until she met human Rosalie and she would fight and die to protect her, always._

* * *

_It became more frequent after the first time, any time they were alone it was like Rosalie forgot how to keep her hands off of her, not like the younger girl was complaining. Even in public Rosalie was always on her arm, or glaring at anyone who so much as looked at Alex. The only true obstacle was Royce who was coming around for Rosalie more and more often._

_She knew Rosalie was torn on what to do, torn between her head and her heart and she tried her best not to make it more difficult. She had to endure Emmett who actually loved Rosalie, she could handle Royce who was using her as arm candy. Even if just the thought made acid churn in her stomach and anger in her veins._

_Most nights Rosalie would stay with her and she would make love to the blonde, it took awhile until Rosalie was comfortable enough to reciprocate and when she did she wasn’t really sure what the blonde was worried about in the first place. It was perfect, not that Alex had much to compare it too._

_“We could run away,”_

_“And go where, Lex.” Rosalie sniped as she usually did when she was frustrated,_

_“Anywhere you want, Rose."_

_"_ _You’d do that for me?”_

_“When will you understand there is a very small list of things I wouldn’t do for you.”_

_“Oh? And what’s on this small list?” Rosalie was trying and failing to hide her smile in Alex’s neck,_

_“Mmm, eating brussel sprouts.” Rosalie’s surprised laughter was music to her ears,_

_“Seriously? brussel sprouts?”_

_“Hey brussel sprouts are no laughing matter. They taste like a dogs ass,” Alex whined, only adding to the laughter from her favorite blonde_

_“And how, Miss Clarke, do you know what a dog’s -” Alex cut her off with a kiss before pushing her onto her back and straddling her, her fingers pressed against each side of her stomach_

_“Alexandria, do not!” Rosalie barked, reminding her so much of the vampire that had left her,_

_“Sorry I don’t think I heard you right,” She smirked, her fingers grazing the sides of Rosalie’s bare stomach, the blonde squirming away from her fingers,_

_“Alexandria Grace Clarke!” She giggled_

_“Yes, Rosalie Lilian Hale?”_

_“If you tickle me I wont talk to you for a week,” Rosalie threatened, even though they were both aware she wasn’t able to go through with such a threat._

_“You’d be lost without me,” She replied cockily, flipping her hair over her shoulder only to yelp when Rosalie suddenly switched their positions. Rosalie was now on top, between Alex’s legs with her hands pinned above her head by Rosalie’s._

_“I love you,” Rosalie told her and she sucked in a breathe, her heart pounding in her chest_

_“I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember,” Alex told her truthfully. She couldn’t tell you the exact day she fell in love with Rosalie, she couldn’t even tell you how long she had been in love with Rosalie because whenever she looked back it had been painfully obvious that she had belonged to Rosalie in every way since that first day in the cafeteria, “You are my life,”_

_“I shouldn’t be, I’m going to have to marry Royce and then what Lex? What are we gonna do, sneak around while I am forced to bed a man? Bare his children? It’s not fair of me to expect you to be some bit on the side,” Rosalie was working herself up, she had climbed off the bed and started pacing Alex’s bedroom, her hands running frustratingly through her blonde hair._

_“You deserve more than that, I - You give me everything!” She yelled out, “You spoil me, you surprise me, you’re patient and kind and loving and beautiful and I - …what do I have to offer you? What do I give you?”_

_When she saw the tear running down a flushed cheek, she rushed to embrace her. To kiss her tears away while she pulled her into her arms, “You give me everything, before I met you. I don’t even remember what my life was like before then. You give me a reason to smile and laugh, you give me a reason to love. To wake up and live another day. I didn’t want to live...I wanted to give up. I was hurting and no one knew, no one could see…but you did. You listened as I talked, you became my best friend and I fell madly in love with you Rosalie Hale. Not for what you can offer me, but because of this - “She pulled back to look into her favorite bluish-violet eyes and her hand was placed over the blonde’s heart, “This right here is what made me fall for you, made me love you. Don’t doubt me. Don’t push me away. I’m here. I will be or do whatever it is that you need me to be or do. You are the sun, the moon and the stars, without you there is only darkness.”_

_“I don’t deserve you,” Rosalie told her, watery bluish-violet eyes locked with Alex’s own blue._

_“I don’t think life is about what we deserve, I think life is about making the most of the time we have. If you ask me too, I will stand by you like the dutiful best friend while you marry Royce, I will love you from a far while you have his children and spoil them like the awesome Aunt I will be, but don’t ask me to give you up because that is another thing on the list of small things I can’t and won’t do.”_

_“I love you. It’s a…a horrible selfish reason for keeping you, but I do. I just…I really do.” Rosalie sighed, burying her face into the protection of Alex’s neck, it was something she did often not that the brunette every complained._

_“And I you,”_

* * *

_She’d been with human Rosalie for a year now, a whole year of stolen kisses and nightly rendezvous, Royce had proposed at this point and Alex true to her word, was there for the engagement party. Reminding herself of what she knew she had to do._

_Cool, calm and collected even if on the inside you’re dying. She reminded herself at least she had Rosalie, at least she was with her. She’d never be without her again, she would keep her promise. Rosalie was her heart, and she couldn’t live without it._

_Lilian knew that Alex was in love with Rosalie, she had confronted her about it and surprising her even more she wasn’t angry. They talked about the pressures of woman especially Rosalie and herself in this time, Alex would eventually be expected to marry. Bare children, and while she could keep Rosalie it had to be as secret as any other relationship that happened behind closed doors. Lilian herself knew first hand how it felt to love someone you couldn’t have._

_It was nice to feel justified, to have someone who understood and offered both silent and verbal support. Rosalie was good at acting. Acting excited for the wedding, for the proposal, every time he kissed her she would look away as if flustered. But Alex and Lilian knew the truth. The secret pain hidden in her unique eyes, the way she felt shame and guilt every time she accepted his kiss, because it wasn’t the kiss she needed or craved._

_Alex and Rosalie’s mother would do their best to help when Royce wasn’t around, when it was just the three of them and they didn’t have to hide anymore. She assured the blonde that she understood, that she was still here. And one day she even taped the list she had on the blondes bedroom door.._

**_**Things I’ll never do:** _ **

**__ ** ******_**Eat brussel sprouts** _ **

******_**Wear panty hose** _ **

******_**Go out with Royce’s best friend Charles** _ **

******_**Lose to Graham and Andy in Soccer** _ **

******_**Stop loving you** _ **

* * *

_They were visiting Vera, William and Henry, Rosalie looked amazing doting on the two year old boy and it made Alex wish she could offer the blonde a child. She’d never wanted to be born with a penis, but now it was starting to become something she wanted to have, if only to get her pregnant with a little mini Rosalie._

_That was what led her to visit the witch of the 1930s, or at least who was rumored to be a witch. She believed it, it made sense. If vampires existed then it only made sense that witches would exist as well._

_She knocked on the door, and a beautiful black woman opened, her hair was in a bun and she had expressive honey brown eyes, “How can I help you child?” She asked her, and Alex smiled,_

_“It’s rather personal..” She didn’t want anyone to interrupt and clearly the witch understood because suddenly she was ushered into a back room,_

_“Mama Angelique,” She extended her hand and Alex smiled before shaking it,_

_“Alexandria Clarke,” Mama Angelique’s smile widened,_

_“I’ve heard of you. Generous, beautiful, kind, refuse to take a husband despite the many attempts for your hand,” they both chuckled at that,_

_“I’m glad my reputation precedes me,” She smirked before adopting a serious expression, “I want to have a child.”_

_“mmm, and your partner is unable to bare children?” Mama Angelique asked, sitting down at the table in the center of the room and signaling for her to take the opposite chair_

_Alex cleared her throat and sat in her chair, legs crossed and back straight, “She’s a woman.”_

_“And you wish to bare her child?” Mama Angelique asked with no judgement in her voice, only curiosity,_

_“That’s correct,”_

_Mama Angelique studied her for a moment before nodding, “Klaus! Klaus darling, come in here please!”_

_“Yes, Yes I heard you the first time. No need to blow my ear drums love,” The man she assume was Klaus appeared quite literally in the blink of an eye, but didn’t look like any vampire she had ever seen._

_“She wishes to bare the child of a woman,” Mama Angelique told him nodding her head in Alex’s direction and now even Klaus was looking at her with interest,_

_“Tell me what you hope to gain by coming here,” He asked looking her directly in the eyes, she could almost see the way his eyes diluted and refocused before she felt compelled to answer him and she did. She explained everything much to her horror._

_Her twin, the cold ones, Rosalie, the party, them leaving, her suddenly showing up in human Rose’s back yard, how in love she was, how Rosalie was forced to marry Royce but didn’t want too, how Alex wanted to give her a child even if it wouldn’t stop her from marrying Royce at least a part of her would always be Alex’s._

_At the end of her story both Klaus and Mama Angelique were looking at her differently but she ddin’t know how to explain the look in their eyes or what it meant._

_“We’ll help you,” He told her and she beamed, he left the room only to return with three vials. One was a blood red, the other was light blue and the last was a bright shimmering yellow._

_“Drink these before you make love to your human, and you shall make a baby, among other things.” He smirked and his eyes were challenging,_

_“Other things?”_

_He chuckled, “Ahh now that love I am afraid I cannot say, but if you’ve changed your mind.” He went to put the vials in his pocket and she reached out to stop him,_

_“I would never change my mind,” She glared at him,_

_He chuckled, “Then simply follow my instructions and take this book with you. Do not read it until after you wake up, you will know exactly what I mean by that. Do not even touch this book until you wake up. Take it home, put it in your purse and forget about it until you need it again. Take these rings,”_

_He held out beautiful diamond faceted rings one with a blood red diamond in the middle and the other with a Lapis lazuli gemstone, “Put them on and never take them off,”_

_Each time he spoke he looked straight into her eyes and each time she felt compelled to do exactly as he asked. He handed her a necklace with the same Lapis lazuli gemstone in the middle and another blood red diamond ring, “And give this to your beloved, it used to belong to someone I knew by the name of Katherine Pierce now I suppose it belongs to Rosalie Hale.”_

_“What do you want in return?” She asked him, it was all too good to be free,_

_“I just want to watch how this plays out,” He replied with an innocent smirk and she wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not._

* * *

_She had rushed home to prepare for the minute Rosalie would show up, which was exactly ten minutes from her rushing through the front door, ripping off her clothes and putting on one of the many nighties that Rosalie had bought and insisted she wore to bed. She lit candles around their bedroom and scattered some of the petals from two of the Tiger lillies that Rosalie would hopefully forgive her for destroying in such a way. She opened each vial and drank them one by one, not caring that she had little to no information on them. If she could have Rosalie’s child - there were very few things she wouldn’t sacrifice for that chance._

_She heard Rosalie enter before she saw her and rushed out to scoop her into her arms. The smile on her face was unavoidable when she heard the blonde laugh as picked her up bridal style, “Miss me?” The blonde teased her._

_“Every second we are apart,” She replied honestly and placed her on her feet and kissed her gently on the lips,_

_“What’s the occasion?” Rosalie asked, looking around at the room that had clearly been set up for her,_

_“Marry me,” Alex blurted out, and Rosalie’s eyes snapped back to her own, wide as saucers._

_“Alex..”_

_“I mean it, Marry me. Right here, right now. In our room, we don’t need anyone to know that you are mine as I am yours. We just need us,” She pulled out the ring he had given her to hand to the blonde…_

_“Is that -”_

_“Argyle 18K gold Blood Red diamond Halo and side stone ring,” Alex nodded watching Rosalie’s eyes water, “I love you Rose. More today than I did yesterday and so fucking much less than I will tomorrow. Everyday I wake up and fall in love with you like it was the first time.. Rose, Tell me you’ll marry me. Before life gets in the way, before the sun rises tomorrow, tell me here and now that you’re mine first.”_

_“Not first,” Rosalie shook her head adamantly, “Only, Only yours.”_

_“Rosalie Lilian Hale, will you do me the honor of being my wife? In sickness and health, good times and bad, until death…no, even after death._ **_**Never** _ ** _to part?”_

_“It would be my honor, Miss Clarke,” Rosalie mimicked the words spoken to her by Alex an entire year ago,_

_Alex slipped the ring on her finger before pulling out the necklace, Rosalie rolled her eyes in fond exasperation of the woman in front of her that was always spoiling her with gifts before she turned to lift her hair to allow Alex to place the necklace on her neck._

_“Beautiful,” Rosalie whispered, admiring the necklace in the mirror before her eyes looked up and locked with Alex’s who was standing behind her._

_“Yes, you really are.”_

_Rosalie blushed with one of those rare shy smiles only reserved for Alex, and then turned around to kiss her girlfriend. Her fiancé. Her wife. Even if those words would never apply to the public, they would always apply to them. In here. In their own little world. They belonged to each other._

_It wasn’t their first time or even their second, but It was different. The most emotionally charged sex they had ever shared, maybe it was because of the vials she had drank or maybe it was because to them they had just reached a new step in their relationship. Whatever it was, Alex made sure she left no inch of Rosalie un-worshipped, untouched, un-kissed. She ensured the blonde was whimpering and begging beneath her, and maybe that’s why only Alex saw it._

_The light that seemed to spread from Rosalie to Alex, starting in her chest. Like a life line, a bond that only they could see, or Alex since her eyes were open. She didn’t slow down or stop, she didn’t move her body from where it was, where she was desperate to feel Rosalie, but she saw as the light snapped into her. As it spread down her chest to her stomach and settled their and she knew what it was, it was her child. Their child. Maybe it was in there now, or maybe it would take more time but in the end she would have Rosalie’s child and she couldn’t help but cry._

_When Rosalie saw her tears, her own slid down her flushed cheeks. Their eyes locked, sweating and chest heaving as they reached the peak together, before they connected their lips as if on auto pilot. Unable to handle the separation any longer. She pulled Rosalie as close as the blonde’s body could get and then pulled her closer still - Rosalie doing the same with the small of her back, pulling Alex’s body down further into her own. Digging her nails into fragile skin with the explosion of emotions that charged the air around them, between them, inside of them._

_Alex didn’t care what happened, she would never lose this woman under her._

* * *

_They were leaving Vera’s the next night, Rosalie’s parents would return in the morning from the work vacation they had taken and Andy and Graham were at home with a sitter until Rosalie and herself would arrive to relieve her. Rosalie was hanging off her arm like she usually did and they were laughing at something that happened with Henry who was just learning how to run. Rosalie hadn’t taken the ring or the necklace off since she gave them to her and she loved her more for it. She’d often catch the blonde playing with it, running her finger along it or admiring it. She knew Rosalie liked how flashy it was, how big and expensive, but most of all that it came from Alex alone._

_It was while they were walking she sensed something awful was going to happen and pulled Rosalie closer who shot her a questioning glance, she wasn’t sure what the feeling was but It was there and suddenly she wanted to go back to Vera’s._

_“Let’s -” She opened her mouth to say just that and they were interrupted by laughing and a clear scuffle before “Rose! Look at her boys there’s my Rose!”_

_Royce came stumbling out of the alley clearly drunk with four of his friends, Alex took a subtle half step in front of Rosalie who gripped her arm tighter, she didn’t like this one bit._

_“You’re drunk,” Rosalie stated frostily and Alex internally smirked, Rosalie was so snarky all the time._

_“Why yes but that’s neither hear nor there. Come Rose, lets show them your beauty,” He rushed forward only to be stopped by Alex’s hand on his chest,_

_“Why don’t you go home and sober up then try this again tomorrow?” She asked him, and ignored the way his friends were staring at her with clear sex in their eyes. Rosalie pulled her against her front, and she reached around to grab her hand, another one of their nonverbal communications._

_‘Be careful.’_

_‘I’ll protect you,’_

_“Oye, Royce Whose this then?” One of them asked, gesturing with his hand currently holding a beer can towards Alex while his eyes racked up and down her body._

_“Alexandria Clarke, haven’t you heard of her?” He slurred, taking another chug of whatever he was drinking, “Beautiful, Eligible, Single,” He practically purred causing her to clench her teeth while Rosalie pulled her further back, “Always hanging out with my Rose.”_

_“Your Rose is beautiful no doubt but she’s got nothing on Miss Clarke,” Someone slurred,_

_“Lets see them both, compare em!”_

_She knew what was going to happen, where this went. Was this how Rosalie turned? No, that was unacceptable. She wouldn’t let them hurt her wife, whether it was a legit marriage or not._

_“How about I take Rosalie home and then come back and we can party?” She flirted, batting her lashes and biting her lip,_

_One of them groaned grabbing himself through his pants while the others nodded enthusiastically, Royce was the only one looking torn,_

_“I’m meant to be engaged to her,” He told her and it sickened her that his loyalty extended to raping his fiancé and not a different woman but she swallowed her disgust and she smiled at him,_

_“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind just this once, come along Rose.” She kept her body between them and Rosalie, and then hurried off to the blonde’s house, never letting Rosalie lag behind. Never taking her eyes off the men who were still watching them. When they reached the door that was simply down the street from where the men stood under a street light still watching them she turned and cupped Rosalie’s face. She looked terrified._

_“Hey don’t you worry okay, I won’t let anything happen to you,” She assured hugging her tight against her. Rosalie was trembling and Alex rubbed soothing circles on her back, never letting the men out of her peripherals._

_“Don’t go,” Rosalie begged and Alex winced, “Please Alex, as your wife. As your best friend. Don’t go.”_

_"_ _Rosalie if I don’t go they'll come here, where we will be alone with your brothers. I have to get them far away from your house. I have to protect you,”_

_“But what if -” Alex cut her off with her lips, kissing her desperately just in case this was the last time she ever got to do so, then she pushed Rosalie in through the door, stuck the key in and snapped it off so Rosalie couldn’t open the handle. Her heart clenched when she heard Rosalie on the other side, yelling for her and banging on the door._

_“I love you,” She whispered before heading back towards the drunk men. She led them away just as she planned to do, far enough away they wouldn’t find their way back until they were sober once again, far enough away that Rosalie wouldn’t hear her beg for her life because she wasn’t stupid. She knew how this ended._

_She didn’t just roll over and give up, don’t mistake her. She led them away and then absolutely tried to get away but they weren’t so far gone that they didn’t see right through it and in the end, there were five of them against one of her._

_She fought as much as she could which only ended in them fighting back, she didn’t care how many times they hit or hurt her. She wasn’t going to let them have her this easy. It was a knife that ended most of her fight, but they cut her anyway. She hadn’t realized the sheer difference of Woman and Men until she felt one of their members compared to Rosalie’s fingers. They were rough, drunk, gross and she cried. She had tried not too, she didn’t know how Rosalie would feel if she had seen her crying after her daring protection move but now she couldn’t help it._

_She begged them to stop - it hurt and she didn’t want this. This wasn’t supposed to happen, she was supposed to have a child with Rosalie and live happily ever… oh shit her baby. Was she already pregnant? Would this affect her baby? She stopped struggling as much, she let them think the fight left her but she couldn’t risk them damaging any part of her stomach._

_They hit her still, held her down, ripped her clothes but her stomach was left untouched. Her ribs ached, but that wouldn’t affect her little boy would it? Whenever she pictured their child she saw a little boy with Rosalie’s eyes and her hair color. When they were finished with her they laughed, and left her there. Bleeding and lying in an alley way. She forced herself to stand, she couldn’t stay here like this. She’d die or get pneumonia…only to find that she was no longer in that alley way at all, but standing at the edge of a long empty street._

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't officially decided...should this be Rosalie/Alex? A perfect Triad between Rosalie/Alex/Emmett (which will take much time to develop because of the rape. Or should it be Rosalie/Alex and Emmett/OC? 
> 
> IF you choose Emmett/OC - should he be mated to a male or a female?
> 
> (Also don't forget Mama Angelique was a WITCH. Magic happens ;)

When Alex finally woke up, it was an extremely slow process. Her mind was running a million miles an hour trying to catch up to reality vs. her dreams. Her eyes felt heavy and her body even heavier. She felt like she could sleep for the next ten years or maybe that she had already _been_ sleeping for ten years. She tried to sit up and groaned, every bit of her body was sore, like she’d run a marathon or got hit by a truck - _maybe both._

Her throat felt dry and itchy like she had swallowed a mouth full of a sand - _she had done so on a dare once,_ \- she tried to force her eyes open but winced when they finally allowed some light in. It was too bright, too white and too blinding…not to mention those weren’t the lights in their bedroom?

“Rose,” She croaked, she isn’t even sure if her voice actually came out or if she sounded like a toad with strep throat but someone must have heard her because before she knew it she recognized the sound of someone pushing themselves out of a chair beside her bed,

“Hey, Hey. It’s okay. It’s alright. I’m here, NURSE!” It was her father, Charlie. She would recognize his voice anywhere, but how did he get in the past with her? Did he know about Rose? What was he telling people?

“Daddy?” She again attempted to talk, very slowly blinking her tired eyes open. Her vision was clouded, black spots and exhaustion preventing her from seeing anything clearly, so she just kept on blinking.

“Don’t force yourself dear, take your time.” It was a kind soft feminine voice she had never heard before. She felt some relief hearing her voice, like whatever pressure she was placing on herself to hurry and open her eyes was now gone. Just trying to force herself to register what she was seeing was taking the very small amount of energy she had.

“Water?” She cleared her throat, once, twice, but to no avail.

“Open your mouth, princess.” Charlie said softly, his voice sounding rough and tired to her ears. She opened her mouth and a straw was placed on her tongue while a small dainty hand helped hold her head up for her. She took desperate sips of the water, it was a welcome relief as it slipped down her throat. Soothing it as it went.

“Thank you,” She murmured, with a slight pant and was relieved her voice had came out clear this time. Small and quieter than usual but no longer did she sound like a fifty year old smoker. “What happened? Where am I?” She spoke up finally forcing her eyes to open and focus on the room she was in.

It was a normal everyday hospital room with a TV in the corner of the room hanging off the wall, she was on a bed with a white and blue blanket covering her while her father and the unknown woman - _the nurse?_ \- were standing on either side of her. Charlie’s face and eyes looked ten years older than he actually was, his eyes were red and blood shot like he’d been crying or hadn’t gotten enough sleep. Or both.

“I’m Beth and I’m your nurse,” She focused on the woman with wide and kind brown eyes looking down at her with a welcoming and comforting smile, “You’re at forks hospital, you stumbled in here a few days ago and past out in front of the main doors. Dr. Cullen managed to catch you before you hit the floor and he rushed you into a hospital room.”

Her hand, maybe subconsciously, went to her stomach, the action caught both of the room’s occupants attention and they exchanged a curious glance before focusing back on Alex, who was still trying to wrap her head around what was happening.

“How did I get here?” She whispered mostly to herself, unfortunately for her, they heard her.

“What’s the last thing you remember, Princess?” Charlie asked her, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder, only to pull it back like he’d been burned when she had flinched.

“I - “ Her eyes widened when she did, she was trying to remember, to sort through her muddled memories.

“It’s okay, it’s natural.” Beth assured them,

“Normal?” Alex repeated,

“You’ve been gone for over a year now, kiddo.” He choked out with tears in his eyes,

She swallowed hard as memories slammed into her. Her eyes sought out the rings given to her by Klaus, if only to prove to herself that it wasn’t a dream. That it had all been real. Then froze.

 _Rosalie._ Oh no, she had left her Rose. Oh no.

“Oh god,” Alex exclaimed, her hand flying to her mouth to attempt to muffle her sob while the monitor to her right was beating erratically, “Please no.”

The rooms occupants, unaware of her true inner turmoil, were looking at her with sympathetic eyes. Rose was going to think she was dead. She’d promised she’d always be there and she’d left her.

“It’s okay, sweetie.” Beth’s voice snapped her out of her internal pain and guilt,

“Take your time.” Charlie sounded like he was barely holding himself together, and she knew he wanted to hug her but she wasn’t ready for that. Maybe she’d never be.

She wasn’t looking, too wrapped in her own head so she didn’t see Renee or Carlisle slip into the hospital room. Standing back and observing when Charlie had motioned for them to wait.

“I was at LaPush, by the cliffs. I was just - “ She trailed off shaking her head to clear it, she wouldn’t admit why she was there. “When I woke up I didn’t know where I was. I was surrounded by people I’d never seen or met before.” It wasn’t a lie...except for Rosalie. Her rose. Another sob came out of her throat but she swallowed it.

“I met a girl there, her name was Rose,” No one commented on how she had choked on the name, “She was nice, and sweet. She helped me. She became like my best friend…my -” Again she shook her head to clear it. Shake the memories away before they swallowed her, “They were going to hurt her, but I wouldn’t let them. I forced her into a room and snapped the key in the lock so she couldn’t get out and they couldn’t get in. I tried to get away from them after that but there was too many…they -”

She didn’t elaborate. She didn’t need too. Everyone in the room was aware of what she had been through, of what had happened to her.

“My baby, is my baby okay?” She frantically asked her father, looking into his pain filled eyes.

“Daddy?” Her voice cracked, she didn’t lose her baby, did she? Not all she had left of Rose. _Her Rose._

“Your baby is just fine, Alex.” A familiar voice spoke up and her eyes snapped to meet familiar gold.

“What are you doing here?” Alex hadn’t meant to snap but she was overwhelmed and **_**it’ll be like we never existed,**_** flashed through her mind.

“They came back two months after they realized you were missing Al,” Renee stepped forward and Alex felt her brows furrow. When did she step into the room? “They’ve even helped look for you, everyone has, baby.”

She flinched at the nickname but no one was cruel enough to mention it.

“Damn near the whole town and the reservation have been looking for you Alex,” her dad added on, “aside from Bella and that damn boy,” He grumbled. She imagined if he had been a vampire, he would have snarled it.

“What about her?” She asked distractedly, she didn’t truly care but it felt polite to ask

“She’s been…well, honey” Renee spoke up and by the awkward tension in the room she could tell it wasn’t good, “you know how she was before, she’s gotten a little better but she’s been in no kind of state to be out helping search.” In other words, Bella hadn’t cared she was gone because Edward wasn’t back.

She waved them off, she cared very little for Bella anymore. Her priority was her wife and their child. How could she get back to her wife? Her fingers played absently with the rings on her other hand.

Carlisle cleared his throat and her attention snapped back to him, “You took quite a beating, Alex.” His honey voice was dripping with sympathy and guilt. He was speaking cautiously, like he was waiting for her to snap again. _Smart man._ “You have two bruised ribs, multiples cuts that will take time to heal,” he briefly glanced at Renee and Charlie before continuing, “Your vaginal canal has been ripped and you have major bruising on your inner thighs. A black eye, a busted lip and…as you know, you’re pregnant.”

“My baby?” She asked disregarding the information about herself for now,

“Perfectly healthy from what we can tell, You’re about two weeks along,” Again he send Renee and Charlie a wary glance that confused Alex.

“Alexandria, there are plenty of options if you want to take care of _it._ ” Renee spoke of her child in slight disgust, wrongly assuming her child was the product of the rape. Although her assumption was sound, the disrespect to the child Alex considered a miracle made her bristle, “I support a woman’s choice and no one,” Her voice held a slight growl - quite impressive for a human and by the seething glances at Charlie and Carlisle she knew neither had supported Renee’s stance, “is going to force you to keep the child of your rapist.”

When she finished, Beth, Charlie and Carlisle were staring at Renee a bit incredulously, and Alex didn’t know if the looks were because of what Renee had said or because of how she had said it.

“ _He’s mine.”_ She stated passionately staring her mother down, “He doesn’t matter how he was made,” It did. She was proud of how he was created but now was not the time to mention that…or ever, really. “He’s mine and I’m keeping him.”

“Him?” Beth asked with a small smile, while Alex blushed and her smile was sheepish,

“Whenever I imagine him, I see a little boy with a full head of brown hair and blue eyes,” _Bluish-Violet_. She mentally amended, just like her rose.

“Or he could look exactly like the men who hurt you and forever force you to remember what happened until you resent him,” Renee stressed

“He’ll be perfect no matters how he looks,” Alex snapped back, she didn’t even look up from where she was carefully rubbing her stomach, thinking about the beaming smile Rose would have directed at her when she would have told her about their baby. Or seeing Rosalie hold their little bundle for the first time. Her heart ached for her.

Quite suddenly, a choking sound came from the corner of the room and she looked up to see Renee, holding her face like she was pained. “I never wanted you to make my mistakes,” She insisted, “Having a child so young..” She shook her head and sniffed, “You didn’t choose this, no one would hold it against you if you chose to enjoy your life instead of being tied down to a child.”

“He’ll never be a mistake,” Alex spoke in an eerily calm voice but it was low and cold as she stared down Renee, “This isn’t your decision. Accept the one I’ve made or you know where the door is. He doesn’t need any _fake family_ in his life,” Her eyes snapped to Carlisle towards the end, and she saw the way he subtly flinched and ducked his head in shame. _Good._

Renee sobbed once more before turning and fleeing the room while Alex rolled her eyes. It left Charlie, Carlisle and Alex in a very tense silence.

“So I’ll uh - give you two a minute,” Charlie spoke quickly and rushed out of the door before Alex could object.

“Alex,” Carlisle started but she cut him off,

“Why are you here? Your son made it perfectly clear what myself and my twin meant to your family. Which was nothing, a plaything. A pet and the novelty wore off. _Tired of playing human_ , is how he put it. We weren’t good enough for your perfect vampire family. So why bother coming to look for me? Guilt? Pretense? You didn’t have to pretend. No one would have assumed you weren’t human just because you didn’t come back and help. Granted they might have assumed you were awful people - but if the shoe fits, lace it up and wear it.” She shrugged, feeling some vindication watching his eyes become wider and more pained as she went on.

“He said what?!” Rosalie the vampire barged into the room. It was the first time she’d see her in almost two years. The breathe left her lungs and the anger left her body. She quickly looked away,

“Only the truth,” She shrugged, ensuring she was looking at the blanket on the bed and not on the vampire who was a carbon copy of her wife.

“It wasn’t the truth! You should know better that that!” Rose snapped at her and she bristled,

“Oh I should? When should I have _known better?!”_ Her voice was dripping with anger, “When you all ditched me without so much as a goodbye? Oh wait, I know! When you answered all those texts I sent you? Oh wait..” She trailed off with a humorless chuckle, “Nope, no it _had_ to be the phone calls that went straight to a disconnected number?”

“We just wanted to protect you,” Esme spoke and she froze finally looking up, only to be met by the entire Cullen family, minus Edward and Alice.

“And what a _lovely job_ you did!!” She snapped glaring at the vampire family standing before her. Rosalie had her face buried in Emmett’s neck and Alex felt like her heart was being squeezed in her chest. Jasper, Esme and Carlisle were looking at her with pained expressions.

She swallowed hard, taking deep calming breathes, that wasn’t fair and she knew it. “Give me strength little bug,” She whispered to her belly before she looked back up

“I didn’t meant that. I don’t blame you for what happened to me. You made the best decision for your family, and if given a choice..” She trailed off, looking down at her stomach. She knew without Rose here she’d be looking at her stomach a lot. She didn’t look up again as she spoke,

“I wouldn’t have changed what happened. You left. It hurt. I wasn’t even allowed to show that it hurt. I was the strong twin. I couldn’t afford to be broken, not when Bella was already drawing so much attention to your family.” It was true. The Cullens were even more talked about after their departure than they were when they attended the school because of Bella’s reaction to their absence.

“I diverted the attention. I tried to protect your secret while my idiot twin almost exposed it,” She held up her hand when Carlisle opened his mouth, “It doesn’t matter I won’t answer whatever question you have,” Jessica had almost been the unlucky recipient of deadly vampire information, by the time Bella had realized what she had said, Alex had already diverted the conversation completely away from her twin and her break up induced craze.

“You may not care about me, but I never stopped caring about you. I don’t know if that makes me weak or naive but I’m different now. I’ve been through a lot, I have a child coming. I won’t be around people I don’t trust. I won’t have my baby around people I don’t trust.

She finally looked up and ignored the guilty, sad and longing expressions aimed her way, “Please leave.”

No one moved as they stared at her stunned, they had obviously not been expecting her to kick them out. She is sure Bella welcomed them with open arms the minute they came back. The only one avoiding her eye was Rosalie and she was thankful for that. She never would have been able to hold herself together if Rosalie had been looking at her with that expression.

“Do what you do best, and leave!” she spoke more forcefully, her anger returning ten fold. She was angry at them for leaving the way they had. For not leaving when she asked them too, for looking at her like she’s the one hurting them. She’s angry that she’s here, angry at the world. They shuffled out after that, sending her one last sad glance, all except Rosalie who stood there facing the wall.

“I have some memories,” She whispered, her voice so low Alex had almost missed it, “Memories I don't understand. New memories that I'm positive I didn't have before...I can’t be what you need me to be,” Alex flinched, “Or - or maybe I can, but I won’t. I - Emmett is my mate, not you, I’m sorry.” and with that she left and Alex was numb. It hurt her so much to know that some part of her wife was in there but chose Emmett.

But she wouldn’t cry or scream or beg, not here. Not now. Maybe not eve, She had known human rose was hers while vampire Rose was Emmett’s, but she hadn’t known it would hurt quite as much as it did. She would survive though, she had too - for their little bug.

* * *

She wasn’t allowed to leave the hospital for a week, and in that week, Charlie never left. Renee didn’t come back after that first day. Bella never showed up, but Alex was glad for that. She’d have just told her to leave. 

The Cullens hadn’t stopped showing up, all except Rosalie. Carlisle was still her doctor. Esme had dropped off brownies. Jasper - one of his hoodies and Alex felt weak for wearing it but his scent comforted her anyway. The only one she had been civil with was Emmett and maybe that was because his conversation caught her so off guard .... 

* * *

_She had been relaxing, reading a book when the door opened and she glanced up surprised to see Emmett, she had assumed he had run for the hills along with Rosalie._

_"_ _Hi,” He smiled warmly at her and she nodded without returning it_

_“He was lying,” Emmett blurted out and she furrowed her brows,_

_“Come again?”_

_“Edward - he was lying. We didn’t leave because we didn’t care or because we were tired of playing human. Edward insisted on a clean break - and Rosalie didn’t want to damn you to this life. I know… I know how she feels for you,” He held up his hand when she opened her mouth, “Maybe I know more than either of you do but I’m not blind or stupid. I know how you two feel, and if she chooses you I’ll step aside. I’ll respect her wish.” He said with finality, adding a nod for good measure._

_Alex sighed, rubbing her belly, “_ _She’ll never cho_ _o_ _se me Emmett, she couldn’t look at me anymore than I could look at her. Maybe one day our friendship could be rebuilt, but she’ll never choose me_ _and I’d never ask her too.”_

* * *

**_**“It’s a mating pull. I’m sure of it.” Jasper answered the unspoken question. Finally addressing the elephant in the room.** _ **

**_**“How is that possible?” Esme asked, she had thought all vampires only had one mate.** _ **

**_**“Triads aren’t unheard of. They’re just rare. And a human bonded to two vampires is even more rare. Rosalie has felt the pull since she met Alex, she just didn’t understand what she was feeling. Same goes for Alex. They fell slowly, gradually, genuinely. She insisted on leaving because she didn’t want to ruin her marriage.” He sent her an apologetic glance as he spoke, “Because she wanted to leave her complicated feelings for Alex behind with her - but the separation from her mate only caused her pain. Caused them all pain. Alex suffered the most, but Rosalie and Emmett also suffered. I think he knew of the bond even longer than I had - but this is crucial. If they go about it the correct way they’ll have a perfect Triad. Or -” He hesitated,** _ **

**_**“Or what?” Rosalie demanded,** _ **

**_**“Or Emmett’s bond to Rosalie will break and he will find his true mate. At the end of the day, Rosalie and Alex and true mates. With or without Emmett and he knows that.”** _ **

**_**“Why didn’t he think to tell me that?” Rose snarled and Carlisle ignored it and chose to answer calmly,** _ **

**_**“Would you have listened?” Her silence gave him all the answer he needed.** _ **

**_**“Emmett is trying to pave the way for you, assuring her that he’d allow Rosalie to be with Alex if she chose to be instead of him. He explained about Edward’s lie -” and Jasper pushed Calm into the room as Alice spoke, all of them still upset by what they considered a betrayal on Edward’s part. They had left to spare her pain, and he had rubbed salt into the open wound. “Alex is unrelenting in her belief that Rosalie will never choose her. That she’d never force Rosalie to have to make that choice.” Alice had seen the conversation between the two at the hospital.** _ **

**_**“What do I do?” Rosalie broke the silence with a rare form of vulnerability,** _ **

**_**“You fight for your mate, Sweetheart.” Esme spoke tenderly and compassionately. In her mind Rosalie and Alex would end up together just as Edward and Bella would. What other option was there?** _ **

**_**“She doesn’t trust us,” Carlisle added, ensuring no one forgot that important point.** _ **

**_**“Rightfully so,” Jasper admitted guiltily and he didn’t have the heart to use his gift to aid in the other’s guilt. In his opinion, they all deserved to feel it.** _ **

**_**“So what? How do I gain her trust.. I told her Emmett was my mate. That I wouldn’t be what she needed me to be,” She whispered, and Jasper winced when he felt the knot of pain in her chest.** _ **

**_**“Talk to Emmett, get his opinion. He loves her too, not nearly as much as you do. Their bond isn’t as strong, it didn’t have time to really form the way yours and Alex’s had. Which is why it can easily be broken with no long lasting effects… but he feels a pull to her as well and he is the only one she hasn’t kicked out of her room yet,” Alice added helpfully** _ **

**_**“And Alex?” Esme asked, hoping for a peaceful solution between the Triad.** _ **

**_**Jasper shook his head, “If she does, it’s buried way deep under everything else. Not unreasonable, she is feeling a lot of pain, guilt, longing, love, confusion, resignation and anticipation.”** _ **

**_**“Not only is Emmett in the way of the woman Alex loves, but he also left her along with the rest of us when they were quite close friends…and after what happened to her -” Carlisle cut himself off at the enraged growl Rosalie released at the mention of the rape of her mate.** _ **

**_**Jasper attempted to push calm into the room, they all felt anger, pain and guilt at what happened to Alex, and while they wanted her to forgive them - like Bella had, they understood she had never been like Bella. It would take more time.** _ **

**_**“After what happened I doubt she’ll be ready to accept any kind of bond with him for some time - if ever.” Carlisle continued when Rosalie’s growl had lost it’s intensity.** _ **

**_**“And my new memories?” Rosalie asked,** _ **

**_**“We have no explanation,” Carlisle started, “The only one who can give us one, isn’t talking to us…and doesn’t trust us enough to answer any questions we would ask. We may just have to wait and see how that plays out.”** _ **

**_**“Or ask her,” Alice pointed out with a look directed at Rosalie - a look she tried to ignore, “But that would require you to spend more than two minutes in the same room as her.”** _ **

* * *

Alex was ready to leave this hospital. First, she hated hospitals. Second, She was sick and tired of the Cullens bursting into the room with their sad eyes and guilty expressions. She didn’t _care_ that they were sorry. She was angry, _damn it,_ and no one could even tell her that her anger wasn’t justified.

After the conversation with Emmett, he hadn’t returned, and Rosalie continued to stay away - both to the dismay and relief of Alex - but the rest of them had stepped up their visits. Probably taking her conversation about Rosalie as permission for them to start trying to earn her forgiveness, but she wasn’t ready to do any forgiving.

She had lost Rosalie, then lost _her rose_ , she was hurting and anger was easier than pain. Anger was much much safer than pain.

She had convinced her dad to bring her guitar because the hospital was not only the worst place in the world, it was also boring. She was sitting on her bed, playing around with some chords when she started to sing.

“ ** _ **I’m waiting up, saving all my precious time. Losing light. I’m missing my same old us, before we learned our truth too late. Resigned to fate. Fading away. So tell me, can you turn around? I need someone to tear me down.”**_**

* * *

Rosalie paused at the entrance to Alex’s hospital room hearing her begin to sing, she leaned against the side wall with Alice and Carlisle as they listened,

**_**“Oh tell me, can you turn around? But either way…Hold me while you wait. I wish that I was good enough. If only I could wake you up. My love, my love, my love, my love..won’t you stay awhile?”** _ **

Rosalie heard the pain in her mates voice and tears that would never fall immediately appeared in her eyes, this was her fault. She knew that, she had broken her own mate. Hurt her own mate with her abandonment and rejection. Alice and Carlisle were looking at her so tenderly and sympathetically that she looked away. She couldn’t handle the understanding. She wasn’t sure she deserved it this time.

**_**“Tell me more, tell me something I don’t know. Could we come close, to having it all? If you’re gonna waste my time, lets waste it right. And Hold me while you wait.”** _ **

It was the sound of a pounding human heart, frantic breaths and running feet that caused all three vampires to face the doors to the hospital - the door that was down the long hall way, the door they could clearly see from here - but what they saw caused them all to freeze.

A young and _very_ human Rosalie Hale was running through the doors of the hospital, practically colliding with the front desk, “Can you tell me what room I can find, Alexandria Grace Cl-Swan.” The young hale practically demanded.

**_**“I wish that I was good enough. I wish that I could wake you up. My love, my love, my love, my love. Wont you stay a while?”** _ **

“And you are?” the receptionist asked, squinting her eyes at how familiar this girl looked to Doctor Cullens adopted daughter, except for the eyes.

“Rosalie Clarke,” she answered patiently but the vampires could hear the tension in her voice, see the tension in her shoulders the slight grinding of her teeth.

**_**“I wish you cared a little more. I wish you told me this before. My love, my love, my love, my love. Won’t you stay awhile?”** _ **

“And your relation to the patient?” The receptionist continued to prod and they saw human Rosalie bristle, her temper clearly no better as a human.

“I’m her wife,” She narrowed her eyes at the receptionist who seemed surprised at the declaration, not to mention the vampires staring at her in shock, eyes wide and jaws dropped.

**_**“This is you, this is me, this is all we need. IS it true my faith is shaken, but I still believe. This is you, this is me, this is all we need. So won’t you stay awhile? I wish that I was good enough. I wish that I could wake you up. My love, my love, my love, my love..”** _ **

The human Rose waited as the Receptionist studied her once more before nodding to the door where the three vampires immediately averted their attention, “Youll find her where the three of them are standing. Room 16,”

“Thank you,” Rosalie told her before she was trying not to run to her wife, when she had finally gotten free of her house and tried to find her - it was too late. Royce and his buddies had been bragging about what they had done to her and Rosalie was devastated and inconsolable. She couldn’t find Alex, no matter how hard she looked. She was missing, gone. She had thought she was dead and Rosalie couldn’t _breath._

Her father had tried to force her to go out with Royce, not understanding why she was nearly comatose and she had broken his nose. It had been so public he hadn’t been able to do anything about it for fear of his reputation. She had thrown the ring in his face and called off their engagement before she had been approached by Klaus and Mama Angelique telling her they could help her find her wife if she trusted them and she had been desperate enough to do just about anything for her wife.

Now she was in the future, in 2006 - where her vampire self was living with her vampire family but she hardly cared about that. Her wife was here, her wife who she could love without fear of repercussions and god she just needed Alex and she needed her now. She barely spared the vampires a glance - okay so maybe she had glared at herself but can you blame her? - before she burst into the room startling her wife who had been playing with a guitar on the bed.

“Lex..” she breathed, completely uncaring that the vampires had followed her in the room.

* * *

When Alex heard the breathless whisper of her name her head had snapped up, already knowing exactly who that voice belonged too, Her guitar falling onto the floor with a noisy clatter. She barely noticed the vampires standing behind her wife. Her rose. _Her rose._

“ _Rose,_ ” She choked out, a sob caught in her throat, was this even real?

“It’s okay, I’m here.” Rose rushed froward and took her wife into her arms, cradling her head in her neck, “I’m here. I’m here.” She repeated, rocking Alex in her arms. “You shouldn’t have done that for me, Alex. They could have killed you. I -”

“They didn’t,” Alex whispered in Rose’s neck reaching her hand under the back of her shirt to trace patterns into the skin she had missed touching,

Rose’s voice broke into a sob, “I thought you were dead, and I couldn’t _breath_ Lex, I - I couldn’t _breath_ without you,” She whispered, and pulled back enough to cup her wives face.

Neither saw the vampires watching the moment with curious and pained expressions, amazed by the love they could see before them but more than one of them completely unaware of what consequences this would have for their own Rosalie.

“When will you understand there is only a small list of things I wouldn’t do for you?” Alex managed to smile through her tears, as she reached up to cup Rose’s face. Feeling her skin, her fingers tracing her lips, her nose, her eyes watching as her favorite bluish-violet eyes fluttered closed under her ministrations, “ _My_ Rose.” She whispered, resting her forehead against that of her wife. Their fingers intertwining as Alex ran her thumb along the ring Rose would never take off.

“ _Your_ Rose,” Rose promised, “Only yours. _Always_ yours.”

“When my world is falling apart and there’s no light to break up the dark that’s when I - I, I look at you,” Alex sang staring into Rose’s eyes, a song she had sang to her in a time that felt like forever ago. The first time they had danced together had been to the song Alex had written for her human Rose.

“When the waves are flooding the shore and I can’t find my way home anymore that’s when I - I, I look at you,” Rose sang back, tears falling down her face. Tears of relief, of happiness and of so much love she felt like her heart would burst in her chest.

“You are my home,” Alex promised her and Rose - unable to hold herself back, surged forward and captured Alex’s lips in a desperate kiss. One filled with so much intimacy, love, longing, relief, and need that even the vampires who were used to displays of affection felt uncomfortable watching and slipped out of the room.

* * *

“How do I compete with that?” Rosalie asked her father and sister when they entered the hallway, “How do I tell my mate that I abandoned her, rejected her for Emmett but that she should choose me over the human who managed to travel seventy years to be with her?”

“Rose..” Alice spoke but Rosalie was already on her way out of the front doors of the hospital. She didn’t know where she was going, she just knew she needed to get away from the pain, anger and jealousy she knew she truly had no right to feel.


End file.
